1. Safari vehicles take you to work.

2. There’s a sniper with a machine gun standing by the bathroom of one of the nicest restaurants in town.

3. When you’re looking to rent housing one of the common questions along with, “Does the house get a good water supply?” is “Where is the panic button?” Oftentimes they housing agents will ask first, “Did you find the panic button?”

4. Your house has servants quarters and multiple servants living in them.

5. Termites invade your home (losing their wings and dropping to the floor near any available light) whenever it rains.

6. Goats and cattle graze in the suburbs.

7. The clouds always look like they have 5 dimensions and the skies go on for miles.

8. You can’t make it to work without you or your driver cursing that “darn matatu” that just cut you off.

9. You hear gospel music on the street, in the grocery store, and in your office.

10. Your transformer bursts into flames right before your eyes.

And the bonus items are…

*There’s a rape cage between the front door and the bedrooms to give you that extra 30 seconds to call the very corrupt police before they saw through the bars.

*A sundowner consists of watching wild animals graze during sunset at the Nairobi National Park

*You comment on how good the road is if there are less than 30 potholes.

*When on vacation you have to legitimately worry about being eaten by a hippo.